


切腹

by fishysama



Series: goretober 2018!!! [3]
Category: Hybrid Child (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Goretober, Goretober 2018, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 17:39:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16179971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishysama/pseuds/fishysama
Summary: goretober day 3: ritualistic sacrificetsukishima and his fears





	切腹

On the floor of his room, there is a blade. Its handle is wound several times over with bandages, wrapped tightly and sweetly. It was a package left for him. A present.

A disgusting, disgusting reminder.

Laying on Kuroda’s futon, they discussed running away, leaving behind the clan and waiting for God to damn them. They talked of catching a boat to Holland, eloping in some version of the word. Forgetting about everything.

Why did he say ‘impossible?’ Why must he? Why has God brought this task to him, why bring him the sword, so perfectly wrapped? What good was it to anyone?

Tsukishima has lost the ‘gung-ho’ he held for suicide, lost his common sense. Now that he was whole, God must make him less-than, a mere crumb of his original self, a mere corpse. It was unfair and nothing more.

Tsukishima sits on the floor of his cabin,  cross-legged, breast exposed. He’s exposed, exposed, exposed. Completely bare, utterly alone. He feels it all fade away before the ritual even begins, a slow wash-away of all his dear memories. With his friends gone, the war gone, his love gone, all he has left is the loneliness of a weak, sick child. Only that and the blade prodding his abdomen.

When the wives told tales of war, the failures were honored as much as the victors. “A strong leader with a cold face,” they’d speak of, “slicing his stomach with honor and solemness, to save the clan.”  _ To save the clan… _ Yet that was not him, not in the slightest. Maybe the stories were made up, maybe the leaders were cold and held no regard for life. Maybe this emotion was normal.

No one is observing, who’s to judge when he bawls and curses, full of regret? How would they know he wasn’t weak, lovesick, and nothing more?

_ Why would they care?  _  The wetness of his stomach, the wetness of his eyes:  _ Why would they care? _

**Author's Note:**

> [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/thanksily/) | [tumblr](https://juroguro.tumblr.com/)


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